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Noisy Feelings

by Ryan Lerman

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1.
You know she's got this way about her I don't think I can live without her now I didn't always feel this way but now I don't know what to say I tried to test the water and fell in And now I guess I'm learning how to swim You know there's something strange about her All I did at first was doubt her, its true I tried to keep her at arms length I tried and tried with all my strength But the air has left this raft we're floating in So now I guess I'm learning how to swim Left stroke, right stroke - take it easy Don't hold your heart too high Don't be careful, don't be scared of what you might imply You know we've got this chemistry I'm not sure what came over me to prove You'd think that I'd be sleeping better She tried to leave I wouldn't let her The future could be bright or mighty dim Well, either way I'm learning how to swim Yeah now I guess I'm learning how to swim
2.
Uptight people trying to tell me how to live life Nobody asked if I was alright I'm not i'm dying to be someone can work to feed their family And not at the mercy of frivolity of changing markets So if you feel left out If you're feeling overworked and underpaid Nothing's working out? Well don't look at me You can thank the American dream Move on down the line so I can use my coupon A bucket of french fries and a big gun I ain't taking chances [chorus] I got no reasons now to weigh me down I know my rights and you can't have em Now could someone help me off the couch? [chorus] Welcome to the American dream America, fuck yeah
3.
How about we play a game I will dig a shallow grave First one to forget their name has to lay in it Guess you spun a clever tale In which I play the coffin nail I guess that I can’t help but fail So I’ll just wait for it Didn’t see you standing there Fixing my electric chair Crying how it isn’t fair But you made the rules The farmer don’t forget his plow But you’ve forgotten me somehow I sold it all and bet on you Now I’ll pay for it Cause I was the first to jump You said you’d be right behind me Where did you go Where did you go
4.
Used to think I was fine on my own Had a house but you made it a home I'll be your light on the darkest day Just don't love me half of the way Used to carry the weight of it all Before I had you there to break my fall Pay no mind to what your friends may say Just don't love me half of the way We're half of the way To being broken hearted We're half of the way Unless you let me in We're half of the way From being back to the start So don't love me half of the way I could see you were lonesome as me You said you could use some company I chip away but your walls don't break You still love me half of the way [chorus] You can say that it's only a game I don't mind playing the fool But nobody wants to hold half of a hand And nobody breaks half a rule I'll be your light on your darkest day Just don't love me half of the way [chorus]
5.
You've been looking for an answer To a question no one asked Well you can try to make believe Or make the past the past You've been walking on the ceiling And you're worried it won't last Well every thought that weighs you down Won't make the past the past I get so restless and so i sleep less Stay up trying to scrub the writing off the wall But every outcome just leaves my legs numb And me ego small You watch the fish inside the water Stuck on a line that wasn't cast He's too scared to sink or swim Make the past the past And so you visit a museum And put your nose up to the glass Marvel at walls that others scaled Who made the past the past I get so tired, so uninspired Feeling bad about feeling bad The time is fading, I'm getting jaded And my reflection's getting sad I hope you find what you've been looking for Cause I don't know how to help you anymore I caught you looking in the mirror But there was no one looking back All this time spent hollowed out By everything you lack I wish you'd just make the past the past
6.
If i'd never seen your face We'd never have begun this chase Wouldn't be inside this lonely place If I'd never asked your name We'd never have begun this game Of pretending we don't feel the same If I'd never seen your face And if you'd never slept with my best friend I wouldn't wanna see your face smashed in I mighta given you a wedding ring If i'd never held your hand Mighta had a different plan We're scared of things that we don't understand if i'd never held your hand And if you'd never shat upon my heart I wouldn't wanna see you torn apart I wouldn't think about the very start and cry I wouldn't wish you'd never looked my way Or wish I'd never found the words to say Do you happen to have the time?
7.
It's hard to break up - it can take a while But it can make you smile if you wait long enough It's tough to admit this is it for good But you know you should if you were strong enough It's hard to break up when the love is gone And there's nothing on the horizon Yeah it's tough to have faith in the great unknown When your cover's blown and you're capsizing But you must make your great escape to see that you could be happier Though it may be tough to think that way when all you feel is crappier It's hard to break up when you're comfortable And your cup's not full but it's not empty So you try to make sense of a losing game But you can't take the blame - we're not 20 anymore You must make your great escape to see that you could be happier Though it may be tough to think that way when all you feel is crappier It's hard to break up. It can take a while But it can make you smile if you wait long enough
8.
Windy Day 02:43
It’s a windy day The trees are swaying I wanna cancel all of my plans and stay in Put a record on The house is strong It'll be okay Got my windows shut But I still hear it The sound of violins in the leaves so clear It’s like my favorite sound That I just found On a windy day Oh — Well it makes you think about your life Put your chin in your hands a sigh Would I be feeling this way if I could honestly say At the end of the day that a I tried I let the dog outside And he's so happy Oh to be so easily pleased Wouldn't that be the greatest thing? I could, you say? On a windy day [chorus] I put the kettle on And kick my feet up The fireplace is whispering things to me It’s like my favorite sound That I just found On a windy day
9.
Mexico 02:46
I would love to go Spend a day or two in Mexico Give up the LA scene Go and see about a Mexican dream You’ve got to take a stand When you’re living like a one man band Stuck in the things you know When you could be down in Mexico Will be the greatest thing To be easy for the whole of spring Never a role to play Never worried bout the time of day Leaving the past behind You won’t need it at the border line We got the clothes we’re in Gonna make em last the whole weekend No more rhyming No good timing You know that useless pride? It won’t be needed in the countryside Making a brand new plan Where I can sleep beneath the Yucatan Ever wonder where the days have gone? Wonder why the nights seem long? Get off the losing team Go and see about a Mexican dream
10.
I’m working on this tailspin And coming out a changed man In daylight We’re dressing up this mannequin With broken glass and sharp pins Til she feels And we can’t feel at all Cross your heart Its full of lies that’ll get you through the night But they’re not lasting in daylight Balloons are floating overhead With each its own reality A nice dream where you can have it all You pull one down and wish us well But all you mean is go to hell And that’s how you get lost And stick us with the cost [chorus]

credits

released November 22, 2019

all songs written, mixed and produced by ryan lerman*
mastered by patricia sullivan at bernie grundman mastering
cover photo by ricky chavez
cover design by sebastian white

*except Track 4, written by ryan lerman and larry goldings

learning how to swim
ryan lerman, piano, vocals
rob moose, violin, viola, octave viola, string arrangement

american dream
mike g, drums, percussion
ryan lerman, bass, wurlitzer, guitar, vocals
sam smith, background vocals
theo katzman, background vocals
hideaki aomori, clarinet, flute

the coffin nail
ryan lerman, guitars, drums, piano, vocals
daniel aged, bass
cj camerieri, trumpet, french horn

half of the way
aaron sterling, drums, percussion
pino palladino, bass
larry goldings, organ
ryan lerman, guitar, vocals
mike g, background vocals

the past the past
tamir barzilay, drums
ryan lerman, bass, piano, juno, guitar, string arrangement, vocals
garo yellin, cello

if id never seen your face
sarab singh, drums
whynot jansveld, bass
ryan lerman, piano, guitar, organ, vocals
joey dosik, alto saxophone, background vocals

hard to break up
theo katzman, drums
ryan lerman, bass, guitar, piano, organ, vocals
rob moose, violin, viola, octave viola, string arrangement

windy day
rob humphreys, drums
ryan lerman, wurlitzer, bass, guitar, percussion, vocals
ross garren, chromatic and other harmonicas
mike g, background vocals
theo katzman, background vocals

mexico
theo katzman, drums, percussion
joe dart, bass
ryan lerman, guitars, drums, organ, percussion, vocals
cj camerieri, trumpet

cross your heart
ryan lerman, baritone acoustic guitar, piano, acetone organ, juno, percussion, vocals
mason stoops, fretless baritone electric guitar

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Ryan Lerman Los Angeles, California

trying to write good songs.

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